Menopausal Madness or Freedom?

The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.

Gloria Steinem

“An Invitation to Come Out of the Closet” again brought cheers and thank-yous and also pushed a few buttons.  What is offered is an alternative perspective on life that bumps up against the traditional.  One reader said they felt they were “standing in front of a fire hose” and suggested that I “tone it down” a bit.  If the style feels abrasive or the perspective too far out or for any other reason, you are welcome to unsubscribe at the bottom.  No harm, no foul.  It’s all just for your consideration.  Take what is interesting or meaningful to you in your personal experience and ignore the rest.

The infamous December 21, 2012.  Some people expected the world to end in an apocalypse.  It did.  Apocalypse means to uncover, disclose, reveal.  What is coming to an end IS being revealed.  Just look around.  The best in us and the worst in us is being exposed.  Our “official” ideologies are more deceptive and out of touch with the deeper core of human existence than they have ever been.  What is also being revealed are the esoteric, “hidden” spiritual teachings and truths that the scriptures, saints and mystics have shared over many millennia.  We all have the opportunity to directly experience our true nature, if we so choose.

Since we all contain the full essence of divinity, anything we say or do to another, we do to “God” and to ourselves.  So before we act, it might be worthwhile to ask: “Would I say or do this to “God” or to myself?”  Without awareness, what we say to another we are really saying to ourselves, about ourselves, projecting what we believe about our relationship to the Love that we are.  Do unto others as you do to yourSelf.  As the Buddhists say:  Do no harm.  “God” is not a being “out there.”  “God” is a state of being, the divine within, the creative force of the universe as infinite loving awareness.  Love is this creative force that is alive within us.  Self-love is aligning, honoring, cherishing, and revering our inherent Love that is ever expanding into more.  Our experience of joy is Love acknowledging its own expression.

Life is about getting in “right” relationship with ourSelves.  Loving ourSelves is loving “God.”  Love is all there is.  The experience of physical reality does not diminish who we are.  In our essence, we are all “saints”, something we perhaps have trouble accepting.

We can always say “no.”  There is no judgment, only Love.  The only thing stopping us are our own limiting beliefs as to what IS.  We each create our own experience of connection or separation.

We generally act out our unprocessed emotions and subconscious, conditioned thoughts rather than our liberated heart and soul that is our Self.  It is our denied, suppressed and unprocessed emotions and thoughts that filter and distort the physical expression of our true spiritual nature.  Just allow them to be without judgment.  When our mind, our thoughts are neutral the heart can engage and enable the soul’s expression to move and come forth.  We are taught and learn to look to others for authority and to comply.  Our Self is the only authority we need to have a life fully lived.

Our Self is what is left when we strip away nationality, gender, religion, economic status, family roles, style/personality and any other concept that informs our identity.  None of these really matter; they are just labels.  It is challenging to observe life and be without all of these systems of belief.  If we take on this challenge, we can reflect on the Self that is here and experience the creative force of the universe, Love itself.  It may feel freeing or terrifying to live without definition.  Doing is living our roles; being is allowing ourselves to be moved in the moment by Love. It takes courage, strength and trust to surrender to the unknown.  Surrender is liberation and victory, the willingness to allow ourselves the experience of Self-knowing and Self-love. Consciously participating in the miraculous unfolding of reality is the greatest satisfaction we can have.  Unity is our true state.

Our soul, our spirit, our Self, is unknowable to the mind, the ego.  It can’t be examined and analyzed.  It is only known to and through the heart when the mind is quiet.  The heart can “see” and “know” all of the mind, our conscious, unconscious and subconscious thoughts and beliefs.  Our ability to act on feeling rather than evidence brings us through the unknown.

Until we make the unconscious conscious, it will direct our lives and we will call it fate.

                                                             Carl Jung

Ego holds the stories and concepts the mind made up to account for, explain or justify our physical and emotional experiences.  We then relive these experiences over and over until we can see the story and decide if it is “true” or not.  Truth is the honesty of the heart.  There is nothing to “heal”; just a recognition that we made up a story.  If there is a “healing” it is “self-healing”, a shift in perspective about ourselves and our identity.  There is nothing loving about wallowing in and perpetuating the stories; they are the cause of suffering.

When one steadfastly holds in their heart a clear intention of Self-love, all that is unlike Love will show itself and dissolve, without the need for self-examination and analyses.  All that is “required” is to acknowledge, embrace and love the totality of our being.  With a heartfelt, unwavering commitment of Self-love, watch everything not “working” come up and fall away.  Self-love means anchored in the truth of who we are and being this Love.  Self-love is the refinement and ennoblement of the ego where our thoughts, beliefs and systems honor and serve our true nature.  Our focus is on the true empowerment of our spirit, of our unique love.  Self-love is Self-awareness, Self-esteem, Self-confidence, Self-worth, and Self-respect when we allow ourselves to be stretched beyond our body and mind to encompass our heart and soul, infinite loving awareness.

We don’t “need” healings, meditations, initiations, activations, retreats, readings, scriptures, mantras, teachers, prayers, affirmations, yoga, and everything else associated with spiritual seeking.  If you are drawn to one or more, great, enjoy them.  There are no shortage of offerings.  Let your heart be your guide.  We have to give up nothing, acquire nothing, go nowhere or follow the dictates of any tradition of spiritual practice unless we believe we do.  We made them up.  Our own heart is the access point to our infinite loving awareness.

When we stop seeking outside of ourselves, we find ourSelf, which is Love.  Seeking outside locks us into seeking; finding requires no effort.  There is nothing to do other than to relax and be who we are, to cultivate and be in relaxed awareness of the moment, to stop and be in the present without the intrusions of the past or the future.  When we are in relaxed awareness, ourSelves reveal our Love to us.  Some of the deepest insights and “breakthroughs” have come at 2:00 in the morning sitting quietly in the dark with a small glass of brandy when roused from sleep to visit with “this” closest friend.  Enlightenment by brandy?  So much for ascetic/deprivational spiritual practices and feeling “guilty.”  Relaxed awareness.  I can trust “this.”  No “one” way.  No “right” way.  No “teachers” other than an open heart and open mind that invites into consciousness all self-judgments and deep insights of truth.  It is about a willingness to look within for all answers… and the ONLY answer to ANY question is Love.  Infinite loving awareness.

Whatever is stopping us is right in front of us, staring us in the face.  “Soon” or “when I…” are the voices of fear.  There is only now.  What’s possible is diminished by our inability to be present in the now.  We get locked into guilt and shame for the past and anxiety for the future.  When shame collides with anxiety, we express anger and rage because we aren’t in control.  Truth is we are never really in control anyway.  Every experience in life is a message from our soul.  We can say “yes”, meaning acceptance or “no”, meaning resistance.  The only “power” our ego has is to say “no.”  Our spirit is ever leading us home.

This is not about attaining some state of nirvana or enlightenment.  It is about living who we truly are as human beings.  “Hu” was one of the first names for “God.”  So “human”, is literally, “God-man.”  Being fully human is ecstasy and bliss in the everyday “mess” of life.  When we see everything in life as “good” and “perfect”, it is.  And life IS good, no matter how “negative” it would appear.  “World stage” events are projections of our collective consciousness.  All “negatives” that we would rather not experience are there to show us what we are and what we are not.  That is why they appear so extreme; they show us what life is when we separate from or connect with our true nature.  Bless and deeply appreciate those who have painful experiences as the “players” in the mirror for the rest of us.  When we see the truth of Love in everything, it is easier to relax and accept what life brings.  Life only and always brings us exactly what we do need to see, experience, acknowledge, and then appreciate our true nature.

We make life complicated.  Our perceived needs have created a complex physical reality based in fear that is far from the simple truth that we are Love.  And we try to run and hide from our anguish of separation.  The commitment to love is to feel our feelings, to live from our hearts.  We cannot grow what we push away.  It will return like a boomerang until we look at it, address its message and understand its lesson.  That’s all it is, a message in the “mess” of life.  Love is speaking to us in every moment.

Whatever “energy” we put out creates our current situations; what we put out, we get back.  Always and in all ways.  Fear begets fear.  Love begets love.  Our life keeps showing our belief patterns until we pay attention and take responsibility for creating these experiences.  The belief patterns are inside of us.  Life reflects back to us what we cannot see from the inside, what fosters or obscures full and complete Self-love and its flow through us.  How we judge another and events we experience and witness is really just self-judgment.  As the saying goes, it takes one to know one.  When we embrace Self-love, all the mirrors of the ego show themselves to be shattered.  We can see how we are “fooling ourselves” and laugh at our crazy antics.  It is life tricking us into our lessons.

A flowing river of our emotions softens the edges of our rocks and stones; a river of light on our darkness is the movement of Love.  A heartfelt acknowledgement of gratitude for who we ARE will make it so in the physical experience.  Our biggest fear, shame and doubt is letting our Love show.  As with everything, this is what is reflected back to us.  Simple, but not always easy.  Love is Living One Vibrational Energy.  Love is always present, always expansive, reaching out to encompass others and bring more love to life.  Fear is always contractive, withdrawing from others and life.  Love is being in the same space, so open and expanded in our essence that we permeate one another.  All sense of separation dissolves effortlessly.  Life mirrors Self-love back to us as an abundance of joy, harmony, peace, wisdom, and grace.

How do we “know” we are coming into alignment with our deepest, truest Self, the creative force of the universe that is alive within us?  We are making major choices.  Our minds are less controlling and analytical.  We are trusting the flow of life.  We are feeling peaceful for no particular reason.  We are feeling confused, not sure of which way to go because the “old” no longer holds us captive.  We are feeling we are “different” but don’t know why (Thank you, Jonette).  When we begin to view our reality from a higher perspective, to consciously observe our thoughts, words and actions, we are experiencing the gift of our divine unfolding.

How do we “know” we are aligned with our deepest, truest Self, the creative force of the universe that is alive within us?  We experience amazing fulfillment and boundless joy.  All aspects of our lives are continuously full of deep purpose and meaning.  We feel our connection with everyone and everything and flow with this connection and contribution.  We experience continuous growth and witness our own evolution.  We live with Self-determination, conscious choices made from within rather than from habitual, unconscious patterns or externally imposed conditioning.  This alignment is the source of Universal Leadership that creates a resonance of love, loving awareness, that brings freedom to all.  What is true freedom?  Freed-OM, the liberation of the creative force of our spirit, of Love. The current motto of the USA is, “In God We Trust.”  This means to trust our state of being as “God”, as Love.  It replaced “E Pluribus Unum”, “Out of many, One.”  They both seem to point to the same thing.  “God” IS our Oneness, the Love that permeates all of life.  USA.  Ultimate Self Awareness.

The last week of so of Alexander’s mother’s life, she walked the hall of the nursing home and to the shower, a couple of things she hadn’t done in a number of months.  She also sat in the community room and listened to the music, something she had never done.  A nurse said that this is common.  These were her last “hurrahs.”  The closer we get to death, the more we (try to) engage with life.  Many of us say that we can’t wait for the day we retire so that we can enjoy life.  Why wait?

We are in a process of self-discovery and integration – if we embrace it.  Elimination of what no longer serves brings regeneration and authenticity.  What we focus on becomes our world.  When we proactively open our hearts and minds to who we are, we no longer blindly react to experiences of crises or discomfort.  The gift offered is true freedom.

Self-love and freedom only happen in the release of self-judgment.  Life is a mirror.  All judgments are nothing more than a reflection of what’s inside.  We are offered “permission” to be who we are without judgment; to move as Love moves us.  It’s all perfect and all good.

There are a few reflective questions we can use as we engage with life:  What is in my consciousness – heart and mind, emotions and thoughts – that created or contributed to this experience?  What is this telling me about how I see my relationship with my true nature?  What am I projecting?  What is this reflecting that is inside of me?  This is not a mental analysis.  The questions are to the heart; our answers will come from our heart as the source of all wisdom. The heart shows us our blind spots and shadows that filter, distort and obscure our life experience as Love.  Ask to be shown your blind spots.  Then observe with relaxed awareness; the clues and messages can come from everywhere and anywhere.  Standing in the fire hose of life we can dance in the stream of its water and look for rainbows of blessings and then celebrate!

How do I “know” what I share?  The truth is for the most part I don’t know how I know what I know.  And the “evidence” that I do have is from the experience of how I feel, not self-analysis or research.  I have scratch pads everywhere in the house to write what comes.  So maybe this is nothing more than the rants of menopausal madness; Alexander calls me a “kook.”  According to conventional, prevailing beliefs, I am.  And perhaps, I am not.  What is written here may or may not be relevant to you and the choice as to what you consider for yourself is yours.