Love - The Leader's Edge - Page 9 of 11 - Love makes a leader a Leader.

An Invitation to Come Out of the Closet

Some people cheered and some felt my last post was “harsh” on Benedict and religion and the rampant hypocrisy. The only reason I could “see” it so clearly is because I’m the biggest hypocrite I know. Life always and only mirrors and we see that which is inside of us.

There is a huge distinction between gratification and fulfillment, that which truly sustains us. The only way to have an abundant, fulfilled and thriving life is to engage with totality of our being in self-love. We are human and divine, matter and spirit, meant to experience both. Our humanity illuminates and reveals our divinity.

That’s it. Life is a mirror and self-love.

At the moment of birth, we enter life with a basic trust that life, reality is inherently good and we are “held”; life is felt as a part of us without separation. Essentially this is our initial relationship with “God.” For many if not most of us this trust has been “violated” in some way, either through trauma or conditioning and we took on a belief in separation. This is a lynchpin that generates our life experience, reinforcing and perpetuating this belief, which is a thought tied around a feeling, generally an unexpressed, denied, unprocessed emotion. Everything, and I mean everything, in our life is a projection and reflection of the conscious and unconscious beliefs about our relationship with our true, divine nature. This is a huge gift because in every moment, life is reflecting our beliefs as an invitation to grow and rebirth our totality of being. Pay attention to what your reactions and judgments are, they are telling you what is going on inside of you. How we separate ourselves from our true nature is our blind spot.

How Come Every Time I Get Stabbed in the Back, My Fingerprints Are All Over the Knife?

After the death and capture of the Boston Marathon bombing suspects, in the wee hours of a morning I was awake and contemplating how these young men and the young men responsible for the shootings in Aurora and Sandy Hook felt so alienated they chose to live a life of deception and violence. What came to me gently was my own belief that my own value, worth and being loved was based on maintaining deception. Protect the “lies” at all costs. On top of this, if I failed then not only was I going to be punished by burning in the fires of hell, everyone I cared about was going to hell along with me. Where did this “story” come from? The experience itself is not important and I have no direct memory of it, but the story I took away is a belief that I’ve held subconsciously since I was a small child that has generated my life experience.

What is the result of this “story”? I’ve lived for close to 60 years with a compulsion to hide. I hated hide-and-seek as a child; I did not want to be found, we were all going to hell. When I spoke “truth”, said what I sensed or “saw” or “knew”, I was “punished”: A dear friend suggested that I hedge what I say, not say what I “know” with certainty to give people “wiggle room.” She also got angry with me for apologizing for “my ego pandering to her ego” – which we were. Another person I care deeply about called a knowing a “fantasy” and wanted no further contact. Being open and truthful brought the pain of rejection. Believing I was only loved for maintaining deception, resulted in my responding with passive aggression: For the most part, if I couldn’t be truthful, I was going to “hide” or otherwise avoid confrontation. I didn’t want to be part of this life and withdrew.

The essence of my work is about “truth” and living and leading with integrity and authenticity. And, the more I came out with what I know about life and love and spirit, the less work and income I had. I had reached a point of being mentally, emotionally and financially depleted. Talk about being between a rock and a hard place. My mind and thoughts (subconscious) created my own hell on earth (which is what hell is and we all do). Life was reflecting to me my own belief that by not maintaining the deceptions, maintaining the denial of who we are, by telling the truth, I was worthless. While we all hold the belief that our value is based on maintaining “the” deception to some degree or another, this was my blind spot, how I separated myself from my true nature. All the other “stories” that I subconsciously told myself continue to unravel and more and more is revealed. It was my lynchpin, initiating the absence of basic trust that we are lovable without condition. The mirror of my life was distorted by this one belief. Without the lynchpin we trust the goodness of life, of reality, as infinite loving awareness.

Fear and judgment lock belief into place to replay over and over until we look deeply and choose love. I tried to make Leading as Love “fit” with the prevailing paradigm; it just never would or could. The majority of our organizational and societal practices perpetuate the deception that we are separate from our spiritual nature of love. It could be said that deception is the foundation of our social interactions. The truth is we are connected to source and all that is; love is the inherent core of our being. Disowning this wreaks the chaos, melodrama and overwhelm that we experience.

The physical (external) is not the foundation for life, the spiritual is. It is the core of our being. Spirit is our “higher” intelligence, the loving awareness within, the witness to our experience. Next comes the emotional (heart), then the mental which all show up in the physical. We get caught up in the physical (material) and mental (thought) and ignore or suppress the emotional and spiritual and literally have lives half-lived. We have nothing to “give up” other than the stories we tell ourselves; it’s about bringing balance and integration to all aspects of our being: spirit, emotions, thoughts, and actions.

A couple of summers ago I experienced chronic foot pain, along with knee and back pain (remember the song, “the foot bone is connected to the ankle bone”…?). I was anxious that I would have to give up my power walks in the Oswegatchie Hills with my beloved golden-doodle, Moriah. This is my regular exercise that I use to maintain my weight loss. I went to an orthopedic surgeon who specializes in sports medicine. He essentially dismissed me saying it was arthritis and to live with it… and keep walking. Didn’t matter that my feet hurt. A lot.

A friend’s mother recommended her podiatrist. He diagnosed collapsed arches (exacerbating the arthritis that I do have). Six hours after I started wearing my custom orthotics, I was in the ER with appendicitis. Coincidence? Our feet represent our grounding and foundation in this world and they enable us to move forward. The appendix is viewed as an evolutionary vestige and no longer needed. Wake-up message from my body: Shed the old and establish my spiritual foundation for being in this world. My podiatrist thought I was kidding when “blamed” my appendectomy on the arch supports. For a new foundation, it was out with the old. This was 18 months ago. I continued to fail to see the message about deception reflected in my work/financial situation. It took a “world stage” event for me to see what was inside all along. Looking directly at the blind spot, the illusion dissolved its hold on my life. The game, the illusion was over. And life offered a miracle to meet my financial obligations – taking a lump-sum pension payout.

Over the past several years, not contributing in a meaningful way with others and the ending of several friendships has been painful for me. I have come to appreciate that my real “work” throughout this time was witnessing my process, midwifing my own rebirth, and embracing who I Am in order to truly and fully engage with the world. It’s been a priceless experience. I am deeply, deeply blessed and grateful that Alexander has stood by me (with considerable, justifiable frustration) during this time.

Outside of our personal experiences, the world is mirroring for all of us that our choice to cut off from spirit and love – fear-based living – is no longer viable or sustainable. It’s breaking down, corrupt, bankrupt, blowing itself up, collapsing. The winds of change are roaring to make way for the new. How many of us feel we are in “pressure cookers” ready to explode? I find this world stage fascinating, not frightening, to watch: We are witnessing our own internal relationships with our true nature play out in life as a mirror.

Every experience is a metaphor of our relationship with our divine nature. Every experience is love calling us home, like a treasure hunt. Our challenge is to avoid nothing. Our challenge is to meet life on life’s terms in the raw experience of it all.

One last story. A number of years ago, I was on the train to NYC using the time to prepare to meet with a potential client. I was thinking what, in my past experience, would bolster my “credentials” to take on the engagement. I “heard” just be present as love. So, I put my notes away and relaxed for the rest of the trip. The meeting was an effortless success and this practice has become how I consistently prepare for any client engagement.

Several years ago, I used this practice and received feedback that a highly positioned client called me a “lightweight.” At the time I was embarrassed and devastated by the perceived “insult.” This is when I started to withdraw. In hindsight, it was great that the client reflected the real me that showed up. On death, the ancient Egyptians believed that one’s heart is weighed. If the heart had nothing weighing it down, it was as light as a feather and the deceased was allowed to pass into the afterlife. I now appreciate that by being present as love I mirror clients’ heart and soul to them; this is my gift. Our lack of self-love blinds us to our own light being reflected.

Self-love is all about our relationship with our spirit, our soul, our true nature, our essence. Self-love is the giving of our soul, essence, spirit to life. Self-love is the acknowledgement and acceptance of our innate divinity and its purpose to create, grow and evolve. Self-love is true empowerment and engagement that allows our soul’s full and complete expression. Self-love is an open heart and mind that allows love to move us and move through us. Self-love is integrated wholeness, the unity, the totality of being as body, mind, heart, and soul; actions, thoughts, feelings, and spirit. Each aspect of being is meant to be lived to the fullest. Self-love is the remembrance of who we are. Self-love is being in alignment and harmony with our true nature. Self-love is the love of love.

“Loving” only our body and mind, definitions of ourselves and what we have accumulated is not self-love. Our masks, roles, beliefs are incomplete leading to self-serving self-interest, arrogance, narcissism, pride, and vanity. All of our labels, definitions and names limit and cut us off to the full experience and expression of life as love.

Self-love and mastery is a never-ending evolutionary process. Striving for mastery as a goal is fruitless for love is ever renewing and rebirthing itself and expanding into more.

Instead of allowing love to be our life, we try to “control” our spirit’s l expression within the context of what we think life should be. Open your heart and mind and gift your presence in life to spirit as a conduit of love. There are no rituals, rules or requirements other than to relax into the totality of being.

Don’t want to give up “control” of your life? Look again. How much “control” do we really have when our actions are driven by conditioned beliefs or personal stories outside of awareness? What is the source of your discontent? What subconscious stories do you tell yourself day-in and day-out? The pain we all feel (and avoid) is that of separation, the belief that we are somehow “unlovable.” Our stories are not truth; they are an illusion, we made them up. We can change them at any time. When all the “stuff” that we have taken on as our identity dissolves, what’s left is love – spirit – to shine through our human form.

Coming out of the closet is coming out of the dark, illuminating that which hides the truth. Coming out of the closet into the fullness of who we are requires no announcement or pronouncement, just open the door. Do you love yourself enough to choose unity of being, integrated wholeness for your life? Are you willing to break through without breaking down?

We keep focusing with good intentions, to “fix” what we see as “wrong” with the world around us. We fail to appreciate that it is a projection and reflection of that which is within, our lack of self-love. When we focus on the relationship within, all else will fall into place. World change is the ultimate result of self-love.

The Answer to How Is Yes

If you are asking “how”, the answer is “yes.” “How” is looking for a structure or framework and there is none. Asking “how” is frequently an expression of ambivalence, not being clear of what we really want and are willing to let go of. Each of us is unique, our lives are unique. Life unfolds as life unfolds, reflecting how much “stuff” that is piled on our spirit, our inner core of love. Life reflects a confluence of all our thoughts and emotions and actions that have gone before. The commitment is to attune and align our body and mind, actions and thoughts, with our soul and heart and allow love to lead the way. The commitment is to be present as loving awareness. It is loving awareness that brings the capacity to transform, allows us to see what we most need to see about ourselves. Life is the mirror that is our guide. Everything in life is a metaphor or symbol of our unity and our perceived separation.

Life is about loving who we truly are. Life gives us what we need to grow and evolve, not what we think we want. Nothing else matters. Get this down and we are home free. Truth or consequences. Love or fear. That’s all there ever is. We get to choose. All it takes is relaxed openness, a “yes” without a “no.” I am so grateful. Life is our teacher (informs); we educate (call forth) ourselves. We are midwives. The love inside is our guru. Every moment, every day. Every person, place and thing is there for us to choose to experience love. Love is not a feeling. Love is the alignment, the conscious participation with life and our growth and evolution. Love is the spaciousness that is full of possibility; unconditional love is what is present when we drop the mind’s conditioning.

Here is something to contemplate. It is we who give “God” conscious expression and the experience of life in physical form. It is we who give “God” purpose and meaning. It is we who give “God” an opportunity for relationship and contribution. It is we who give “God” the experience of growth and evolution. It is we who give “God” the opportunity to experience love or not by our choices.

The lynchpin is our primary belief about our relationship to life, to love, to “God.” It carries with it a primary fear. My fear is shame and humiliation of being a “phony”, a hypocrite. It also shows us our greatest expression of self-love. Mine is humility which means living, speaking only truth.

Self-love is the commitment to life, not to a particular practice or an experience. There is nothing to “fix” or “heal.” The commitment is a willingness to take responsibility for the life we have created. What ways are you contributing to what you are complaining about? Relax into your perceptions, the insights will come. The answers are always within as to what we are projecting. Truth, understanding, wisdom, deep knowing are of the heart that “sees” all, beyond the “facts” of the five senses or cognitive analysis. In this way, we are responsive; active receptivity as a conduit of love. The choice in each moment is “yes” or “no” to love, self-love. Self-love is being wide open to life – all of it. Life obliges us to die to the old and rebirth ourselves over and over again. This is why I treasure seeing the turkey vultures around our house; they are a constant reminder of rebirth when we soar with the unseen currents of life.

Alexander’s mother died peacefully the week before Easter. It came to me that at a very deep level we don’t grieve death; we grieve that they didn’t consciously live their totality of being.

Universal Leadership, Leading as Love, is self-love, integrated wholeness of personal leadership and authority that enables collective leadership to actively co-create a thriving life for all. Universal Leadership serves that part of you that is a radiant, eternal expression of source, the love of spirit that is the core of your being. To co-create we must be fully present in the now as loving awareness, relaxed openness. No planning. No goals. No expectations. No needs or wants. Life unfolds moment by moment. Universal Leadership allows us to go beyond what we believe is possible. Only two things to remember: self-love and it’s all a mirror.

There are no frameworks, structures, concepts, steps, striving for self-love; it is an open-minded and open-hearted process of exploration and discovery of what life is reflecting back to us. A “marker” – not goal – is a place of neutrality, equanimity in the experience of life as it unfolds, where the only desire and choice is to be present as love. Without spirit – the infinite loving awareness that we are – we cease to exist.

I stand for compassionate truth. I am here to call forth and witness the conscious re-emergence of spirit in matter, merging the sacred with the secular. I am here to reflect your radiance and to approach everything from the perspective of self-love for you personally and organizationally as leaders. I am here to walk with you in a process of mutual self-discovery as you midwife your remembrance that you are infinite loving awareness, the full expression of your totality of being.

We are the heroes of our story. Discover, embrace and be the greatest expression of yourself. Put your attention, your love, on the truth of who you are and the rest will take care of itself. Self-love is all we ever really seek.

Here in the United States this weekend we are celebrating Memorial Day. No matter where we are, let us all celebrate by committing to fully remember and live who we are – the relaxed stillness of loving awareness expressing freedom, peace, joy, and wisdom.

The Challenge of the Papacy: Universal Leadership and the Resurrection of Christ

What I am about to share can be labeled heresy, apostasy or blasphemy, depending on your perspective and belief system. What I say challenges the doctrine and dogma of not just Catholicism, but many of the worlds religions. At least we no longer burn “heretics” at the stake… talk about getting booted out of the tribe.

Our Crucifixion

Consider this: It is reported that Pope Benedict decided to resign last December after reading the Cardinal’s Vatileaks report that he commissioned. Perhaps what he recognized through this report was the blatant hypocrisy of the Church and his own personal hypocrisy by engaging in actions that directly contradicted the teachings and life of Jeshua (I prefer the Aramaic name to Jesus). At the risk of being irreverent, Benedict’s papacy was characterized by his ruby slippers and ruling a Land of Oz. Perhaps in the report he saw that the Papacy was not “infallible” after all. Perhaps he saw it was time to step down and for the Church to renounce maintaining a secular focus of worldly power and material wealth.

Jeshua really gave us only one commandment: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself.” This is it. In loving ourselves and loving our neighbors we love God. There are no other rules. No judgments, no expectations. Any rules – dogma and doctrine – were and are man-made and focused on maintaining control, power and wealth. If we look around, we can see that old regimes and control programs are in breakdown.

In the Christian Gospels (Jeshua’s “direct” teachings) there is no condemnation for anything but hypocrisy. This includes homosexuality, contraception and abortion. Look for them. All scripture related to these “sins” are either in the Old Testament or in the Epistles and were written in the context of their time and are interpretations. Explicitly in the Gnostic Gospel of Mary Magdelene, we are told “Do not lay down any rules other than what I have given you and do not establish law, as the lawgiver did, or you will be bound by it.” With love, we need no other rules.

So what does this have to do with leadership?

Jeshua, a Universal Leader, came to show us who WE are. We are both human AND divine, spirit in matter. We are divine and our essence is love. Collectively we create life and our experiences. Collectively WE ARE GOD. This is our true nature. Christ is not a name it is our nature as “son of man.” Each of us is a Christ. Each of us is the creator. Leadership is creatorship. Entertain these possibilities even for just a moment. What choices will you make? How will you “show up”?

Many religions have obscured this message to keep us believing that we are separate from our true nature, powerless, so we give ourselves over to ”intermediaries” in the form of priests, imans, ministers, mullahs, rabbis, gurus, ayatollahs, bishops, rinpoches, cardinals, popes, dalai lamas. We are also given the message that giving these intermediaries power over us will buy us “redemption.” Nothing is further from the truth. Whether we call ourselves Christian or not, WE are the living Christ. This is the meaning of “resurrection.” This is not heresy or blasphemy. It is truth. To say this is heresy or blasphemy, to deny our complete nature, is arrogance beyond measure. We don’t need hierarchical intermediaries to manage the relationship with our own nature. When we do, we generate guilt and shame. No individual is holier (more whole) than any other. We can recognize that all others are our mirrors, serving us to acknowledge the divine within us all.

We only realize our potential and consciously rise above the egoic self in relationship to one another, as equals, as divine, as love. Self-realization comes when we choose love, when we act from the heart and inner trust. We are always connected to the divine; whole and complete within. All we “need” is to be love: To love ourselves and from there we love all others and life.

Rules teach us nothing more than to judge ourselves and one another. Once we do, we lose touch, we severe our connection with the sacredness of life, the sacredness of the love within. Rules are made up. Rules are not universal or eternal. Rules are not truth. They are the mind’s interpretations. Surrendering the perceptions of judgment and conditioned beliefs of the mind is the path of service. Care, understanding, respect, and responsiveness join us together as the oneness of humanity. We become a unifying force as we recognize ourselves as one.

Did Benedict create the Church’s hypocrisy? No. He actively participated. How many of us compromise ourselves and our integrity by actively participating in conditioned rules in the name of “success” or “happiness” that are externally driven without ever giving the “rules” any serious consideration for their trueness or meaning and impact in our lives?

Our “crucifixion” is putting our entire being in service to love. It may feel like a kind of death, putting all of our rules, beliefs and labels aside to fully engage with life.

Our Resurrection

We are spiritual beings having a human experience. To live absent spirit is to be out of integrity. Universal Leaders have complete integrity – integration – of all aspects of our nature: Body, mind, heart, and soul; actions, thoughts, emotions, and spirit. Only this complete integration results in authenticity. Anything less is hypocrisy. Integrity is what attracts other to follow. In being our whole and true selves, we invite others to do the same.

What does it mean to integrate spirit into one’s life? It means that we live life with the body, mind and heart, actions, thoughts and emotions, wide open to the movement and expression of love in each moment – care, understanding and respect. This is a life of wholeness, fulfillment, integrity, and authenticity. It is a life of surrender into the fullness of being, our true nature, by allowing love to flow and express through us. This is presence. Wholeness is holiness. It is our natural state when we choose to allow it.

We are human. We are divine. We are one. This is the meaning of the cross within the circle. This is integrity. This is authenticity.

Leadership is a ministry, a sacred trust to serve humanity to bring us home to our true nature. Jeshua said: “Love one another as I have loved you.” As leaders, this is the vocation that we are called to.

The election and humility of Francis shows us that we are in the throes of breakthrough if we recognize and accept the challenge to become Universal Leaders, to Lead as Love. Francis is breaking all the rules for “Pope.” I would thoroughly enjoy being his friend. We too can break the rules that have kept us in bondage.

We are challenged to stop living separate lives. Do we choose to live honoring religious institutions – dogma and doctrine? Or, do we choose to live fully as who we are as spirit in matter and honor the divine within? This is the Second Coming of Christ.

The leadership challenge of the Papacy and all religious institutions is to minister, to serve, the sovereignty of the Christ within each of us and bring this truth into full self-realization and actualization.

This is a quiet revolution from the center of our being as we allow ours heart to be our guide. The guru is within. Breaking free of the collective conditioning of what should/should not be done is not easy. Living love in each moment is not easy. Willingness to look at and own our hypocrisies with self-compassion is not easy. Allow love to be our guide.

We are all compadrés on the path of life; no one is greater or lesser than another no matter who we are or what we do. We are equals. No one is holier or worthier or better or more valuable than anyone else.

I hope this serves as a catalyst to disrupt beliefs we take for granted. I hope that I have caused us to deeply consider why we are really here and to choose to become more aware, caring, understanding, respectful, and responsive human beings, present to life as it unfolds. This is love. I hope that we look at everyone, including ourselves, just a bit differently: As God manifesting, expressing and creating life through us. All we ever ask is to be recognized and acknowledged for who we truly are.

Easter, Passover, Spring… all symbols of renewed life. I invite you to midwife the rebirth, the resurrection of the sovereignty of our souls, of spirit in human form. When you feel called to step into your authentic power as Universal Leader, I am here to serve.

Namasté
The divine in me honors the divine in you

Reflections: Breakdown in 2012 – Breakthrough in 2013?

December 21, 2012

Today is the day the world is supposed to “end.” Given all that we have been experiencing and witnessing, maybe it is. Perhaps what is ending is the world as we know it. Perhaps what is ending is a world we blindly created and lived. Perhaps what is ending is our unconscious focus on fear – fight, flight, freeze – with a radical shift to consciously live and lead our lives from love – care, understanding, respect. The world we know will end – bringing the opportunity for new beginnings – when we choose and commit to change ourselves.

Breakdown to Breakthrough

Globally, we have experienced a multitude of violent, catastrophic and devastating events in the last 10+ years. We are seeing generations of abuse and exploitation exposed. Many of us have withdrawn emotionally, mentally and physically, ignoring our inhumanity and indifference towards one another. What happened last Friday and since in Newtown is, in the word of a friend who lives there, “surreal”, beyond mental comprehension and understanding. We all deeply feel and share sorrow, rage and despair at the loss of these innocent lives.

Newtown brings a loss of innocence to all of us. The worst in us and the best in us were revealed in the same moments. We can no longer close our eyes, be silent, and pretend ignorance. Newtown is our “tipping point” for how we create our future. If we allow, our breaking hearts will wake us up to courage, resolve and perseverance that says “never again.” Not just to gun violence but to all the ways that we are violated and we violate others.

This means we stop looking outside of ourselves for something or someone else to blame or “fix.” The truth is that what’s on the inside shows up on the outside. Together, we ourselves have created a society with the conditions that enabled this to happen. Our collective concepts, actions and laws are an amalgamation of our individual thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and values that we largely force on one another.

Our individual responsibilities as human beings mean responsiveness to one another. We have seen the enemy and it is us. We created this tragedy and have a hand in every one of the others. We are all responsible by what we accept and how we act. Both as individuals and as a society, we can no longer be innocent of our creations.

Life is showing us what is unsustainable. It’s not about gun laws which are merely one symptom. It’s about the fundamentals of every aspect of our social structures: government, business, education, and religion. The old way, the way of fear, is in breakdown. When the Romans encountered a “problem”, they wrote new laws. When the Greeks encountered a “problem”, they created a new approach or concept. We can’t legislate ourselves to universal peace and prosperity.

Breakdown can only bring breakthrough when we fully engage with one another with an intention of universal well-being. Breakthrough means conscious choice and response rather than automatic, fear-based, conditioned reactions. Breakthrough means a life of integrity, the conscious integration and wholeness of mind, heart, body and soul; thoughts, emotions, actions and spirit. Breakthrough means authenticity, being the author of life and acting from the core of our being, that which unites us.

About Love and Life

Why do we avoid speaking of and practicing “love”? It is a focal point and deepest value of all the world’s traditions and a majority of us say that we see ourselves as either religious or spiritual. Religious, spiritual or not, love is the most universal of human values. Look in the mirror. What we actually value is what shows up in the choices and actions of our day-to-day lives. Our hypocrisies are rampant; we live divided lives.

Love is simply a label that we give the energy of unity that we sense or feel that is present in all things. It is what physicists call the quantum or unified field. It is the source of our drive for connection, coherence and wholeness; for purpose and meaning; for self-determination and choice; for evolution and mastery. It is the energy of engagement and co-creation. We experience and express love as common ground, serving the greater good and engaging with care, understanding, respect, and responsiveness. Love is about acknowledgment, acceptance and appreciation for all that life offers.

Love is an openness that is full of possibility to realize the potential of the moment for the good in life to express. Yet we fear this openness, this space. It feels empty, void, that we are out of control. It is only in this openness that is without constraint that the greatest good can be known and expressed. Love as unity is life, the spirit in all things. The emptiness we feel and try to fill with external things is a denial of our unity, our spirit, our love within.

Fear distorts our perception; it blocks our ability to see, feel and experience this unity. Fear drives our habitual patterns of behavior anchored in the belief in separation. Fear drives our insatiable desire for power and “winning at all costs.” Fear is prevalent when we take positions, control, dominate, exploit, or oppress others; treat people as objects, kill or maim, and destroy nature. The source of fear is our beliefs about how life should be, our personal and social conditioning based in the past. Fear alienates us from living life and from one another.

Much of what we call “love,” are actually our fear-based projections of not having it. Hence, our experience of love depends on feelings of attraction, affection, attachment, and approval. It is based in our conditioned beliefs and fears of being alone, outcast, rejected. It is our idea about what love should be that separates us, serves to protect our egos and get something from others, not the reality of love as unity. Love, unity, is always present. Acting from fear and suppressing the experience of love results in chaos and suffering. In every moment we either choose love or react from fear.

Love, as unity, is of the heart which the mind does not comprehend. Our awareness and consciousness of life comes only from the heart. The mind can only produce ideas and thoughts about how life should be. Only the heart gives us the direct experience of life as it is and who we are. Honesty is the truth of the mind; truth is the honesty of the heart. Love is the truth of the heart. Love is the only answer. Love is the energy that makes all things possible. Engagement with life is the dynamic movement of giving and receiving love.

Focus expands. Will we focus on love – care, understanding, respect? Or, will we focus on fear – fight, flight, freeze? Will we focus on the eternal presence and stillness of love within ourselves? Or, will we focus on the incessant search and striving for external validation that results in duality and polarization, right/wrong, good/bad? This is our unrelenting battle. Love grows love. Fear grows fear. At the same time, fear contracts and limits our experience of life. Love generates the infinite expansion of life and its gifts. Love is the one value that we universally share yet we allow fear to govern our lives. Fear dissolves when we think with our hearts and love with our minds.

Through our shared emotions, the pain of traumatic events serves to break our hearts open, liberating us from the mind’s fears and allowing our true nature to be revealed. Traumatic events can awaken us to the truth of our being as spirit, as love, in human form. Heroes emerge and we all find the courage and resolve to respond. We show our greatest strength and power in our vulnerability and willingness to experience emotional pain. This is love.

Participation in transformation is an individual choice to release our conditioned, fear-based beliefs and actions and instead live from our heart. When we think and act from care, understanding and respect for ourselves and all of life, we move with and facilitate our shift. When we act from fear, resisting the shift, we continue to have intense “negative” experiences.

Our world is a perfect reflection of our collective hearts and consciousness that is made manifest. Will we choose to live in the present moment reality of love as unity or in the ongoing shadow of fear, projecting and broadcasting our past into our future experience?

Commitment to Our Future

The reverse of “live” is “evil.” Anything that does not foster life, foster love is “evil.” When all we do is take, see what we can get, separate ourselves from one anther, and disown the results of our thoughts, feelings and choices, we are evil.

Life invites us to take a pledge for 2013 and beyond to live fully, to engage with life and others with love – care, understanding, respect, and responsiveness. Life invites us to commit to leading as love which is leadership in service to life – Universal Leadership.

Universal Leadership is an openness that is empty of preconceptions and conditions and full of possibility and potential. Universal Leaders act from and foster our unity. Common ground and deep care for the greatest good are established in our inherent unity that is love, not in agreement around an external issue. We only unite with others from the inside. Universal Leaders honor our totality of being as human and spirit. Universal Leaders call forth the human spirit that is in each of us to express. Universal Leaders make an unconditional commitment to consciously create a future that serves life. Universal Leaders are consciously awake, spiritually aware, and psychologically integrated.

Universal Leadership is our personal choice. The ultimate paradox is that we can change the world only through individual change of what’s inside: our thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and values of how we view and interact with life. Violence, exploitation and oppression will continue until we end the war within, the battle to suppress the truth of the heart: our connection and unity as human beings and with all of life.

In this season of great joy that brought us deep sorrow, may we recognize that Newtown is showing us both our polarities and our unity and so recognize both our individual and collective responsibility in creating our world. May this be the blessing and gift of all who died or suffered in this and all other human-made violence and catastrophes and natural disasters of recent years. May Newtown truly bring us a “New-town”, a new life, a new way of being.

As 2012 is ending let us start anew, full of possibility, refreshing the canvas of our lives. In our rebirth, let us celebrate, be grateful, and honor life. In our rebirth, let us celebrate, be grateful, and honor that we are the only species on earth with the capacity to make conscious choices and know that we are the creators of our experience. In our rebirth, let us celebrate, be grateful, and honor that we are an expression of spirit in all that is. In our rebirth, let us consciously live the truth of our being, the truth of love.

As Universal Leaders we sense an opening into which love can be brought forth. We are ready. Now is the time. We are the ones to midwife love. Let us trust the goodness in life and allow ourselves to be moved by love, the unity within. Then, and only then, will there be peace on earth.

Will we make this ultimate commitment? Will we let our lives, our hearts, speak? Will we bring light to the world on this day of the longest night of darkness? Will we say yes to truth, the light, the movement of love that we are?

“I lead by word and deed simply because I am here doing what I do.

The power for authentic leadership is not found in external arrangements but in the human heart. Authentic leaders in every setting, aim at liberating the heart, their own and others’, so that its power can liberate the world…. External reality does not impinge upon us as an ultimate constraint: if we who are privileged find ourselves confined, it is only because we have conspired in our own imprisonment… We make the world what it is by projecting our spirit on it, for better or for worse. If our institutions are rigid, it is because our hearts fear change; if they set us in mindless competition with each other, it is because we value victory above all else; if they are heedless of human well-being, it because something in us is heartless as well.

We all can make choices about what we are going to project, and with those choices we help grow the world that is. Consciousness precedes being: consciousness, yours and mine, can form, deform or reform our world. Our complicity in world-making is a source of awesome and sometimes painful responsibility – and a source of profound hope for change. It is the ground of our common call to leadership, the truth that makes leaders of us all.”

Let Your Life Speak – Parker Palmer

Many Blessings and Much Love to you and yours this Holiday Season.

Every Poll Was Wrong – It’s a Landslide!

Here it is, November 7, 2012. We the people of the United States have elected our President and Congress. Every poll was wrong – it’s a landslide! How did we get here?

After the final Presidential debate a couple of weeks ago, something remarkable began to happen. We realized that our freedom requires awareness because with awareness we have real choice. We realized that once we stopped listening to the noise, we could see that what we were paying attention to really didn’t matter. We started dropping our beliefs and labels of Republican and Democrat and opening our eyes and minds to see ourselves and the candidates as we are as people.

We began questioning the real importance of hard and fast positions on the issues and ideologies. We saw that the ideologies such as capitalism, liberalism, conservatism, and fundamentalism are not what made this country great. These beliefs about how life should be separate rather than unite us and do not provide long-term solutions. We saw that imposing our beliefs and choices on others violates everyone’s freedom, including our own. We recognized that what was most important about this election is leadership and integrity and began looking closely at the candidates themselves and how they lead their lives.

We realized that we have a mixed view of what it means to be a leader. We used the term loosely. We called anyone with a position of authority a leader. We called people leaders when they commit to an ideology, policy or profits. We called people leaders when they appear “in control of” and dominating situations.

We saw that many people who we have called leaders have their own rules: focus on accumulating and maintaining wealth and power; take action based on self-serving self-interest and personal gain; and exploit and manipulate people, resources, systems, and situations.

We decided enough is enough. We decided to stop playing by these rules that don’t serve our individual or collective dignity and well-being as human beings. We realized that if a candidate followed and managed by these rules or ideology, they aren’t leading and they lack integrity. We recognized that we ourselves contributed to everything that we complain about by our complacency and conformity. We recognized that it is our responsibility to create the future we want for ourselves. We decided to stop giving our power away.

We decided that public protests are slow to bring about change so we began looking within ourselves for answers. We stopped paying attention to what the campaigns and polls and media were saying and listened instead to what we know to be true in our hearts as people. We realized that what made this country great is our diversity and standing for the dignity and well-being and freedom of all people, everywhere. We decided that focus on our collective well-being is required for the future rather than “every man for himself.”

We realized that we want true leadership that brings us together and moves us forward. We decided to drop the ideological paths that limit our vision, blind us to possibilities, and force one viewpoint or choice on the rest of us. We realized that leaders create unity in diversity with shared power and where all benefit.

We recognized that above all, leaders are people who demonstrate the best in us as human beings, our virtues. Leaders show us the polarities that divide us and bring us to the higher truth of a situation, one that establishes common ground and serves the greatest good. We chose as leaders those who we trust will come together, collaborate and move forward with the best solutions for all of us and the future well-being of our children and our children’s children.

We decided that true leaders:

Care about everyone’s dignity and well-being as human beings and bringing forth our best. We sought leaders who appreciate us as people, our hopes and dreams, and who focus on generating shared power and prosperity.
Understand without judgment, accepting each of us and what we believe. We sought leaders who appreciate what our lives are like and who seek and value all perspectives.
Respect without control, granting the freedom to choose. We sought leaders who appreciate that we know what is best for us and who take action based on our interdependence to create sustainable advantage for everyone and everything.
Respond in the present, within our current context. We sought leaders who appreciate what was learned from the past and who move forward with inspiration for our shared future. We sought leaders who act with wisdom.

We recognized that it is care, understanding, respect, and responsiveness that invite us to follow, even if we might not fully agree. We appreciate that leaders have a broader perspective, a bigger picture view with the potential to address all interests.

We sought leaders who blame and criticize no one, hide and avoid nothing, take personal responsibility and accept the consequences of past choices and actions. We sought leaders whose thoughts, feelings, words, actions are consistent across every interaction, both public and private, and reflect the best in us as human beings. This is integrity. This is who we can trust.

We realized that in today’s volatile world we need thoughtful leaders and for the United States to be a world leader we must care about, understand and respect others’ choices as nations even when we might not make the same choices for ourselves. We recognized the United States can lead on the world stage only when we enter into dialogue rather than control by physical force. We voted to set an example and send a message to the rest of the world that what made us great as a nation is our stand for freedom and equality, human rights and shared power, and the opportunity for a better quality of life when we all work together and contribute our best. We decided our vote is an act of creation, of directing our energy to the kind of world we all want to live in.

We saw that business is not government and government is not business. Each has distinct and interdependent roles to play in our collective well-being and provide complementary balance to each other. We decided not to go back to the policies of the past that generated our current situation and to go beyond change to create something new.

We recognized that the President and Congress are stewards: Of the people, by the people, and for the people. We elect them to focus on what’s possible, the big picture, and higher truths: Power to the people as we lead our lives. Common ground. Greater good. Care. Understanding. Respect. Responsiveness.

Our votes reflected what we value. We value human dignity and well-being for all. We value freedom for everyone in all aspects of life. We value wisdom. We value integrity. We value common ground and serving the greater good. Most importantly, we value our own worth and power, that we each make a difference. We voted in record numbers.

Today we are breathing a collective sigh of relief. We made the best choices for ourselves as a nation and for our place in the world. In the end, we voted only for those who showed they can rise above politics and get things done that enhance the quality of life for all. In the end, we decided to trust in truth and we voted for those who clearly value people over things, actions over words, and all of us together rather than just some of us. In the end, WE won.

What will November 7 bring? What story will we be telling? How will we vote? Will we rise to the occasion and choose the best in us as human beings whether we agree with everything or not? This is our defining moment.

NOTE: This was published on October 25, 2012, 12 days before the election.

Who Can We Trust to Lead? The Speech We Won’t Hear

Click here to listen.

Who Can We Trust to Lead? is what we all want to hear in a speech, but won’t.

Collectively we have a distorted view of what it means to be a “leader” and this has had an enormous impact on our well-being. Leaders don’t commit to ideology or policy or profits. Leaders commit to people. This understanding, this social context, is everything. It gives meaning to our choices and actions. When we shift this context, this viewpoint, we can see different options, make different choices, and take different actions.

Leading is a commitment to bring people together in a shared purpose: to establish common ground and serve the greater good. This commitment is applied in different aspects of life, such as business or government. Many people are in positions of authority never having made this commitment or given thought about what it means to be a true leader; we assume that by being in a position of authority we are a leader. So, business executives or politicians are not necessarily leaders and it would be an understatement to say that there are plenty of executives and politicians along with educators and religious people who are not leaders.

The essential common ground for leading is our shared humanity. So, what serves our shared humanity, our greater good? Universally, as human beings we care most about our dignity and well-being and:

Being understood not judged, accepted for who we are and what we believe.
Being respected not controlled, granted the freedom to choose.
Being responded to as a human being, not from any ideology such as liberalism, conservatism, capitalism, socialism, fundamentalism, and so forth. We want to be granted equality, and life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

In truth, we can only choose trustworthy leaders when we are willing to take a stand and lead our own lives from the common ground of our shared humanity. This means:

We care about our own and everyone else’s dignity and well-being.
We seek to understand and accept everyone.
We respect and grant freedom of choice to everyone.
We respond, human being to human being, in a way that enhances life for all.

We have not only allowed, but also admired, others who have material success and/or fame even though they may have exploited – taken advantage of – us and/or the system. We allowed ourselves to become objects for their benefit. We are not objects to be used for someone else’s benefit or to sustain an ideology that separates us from one another. When we choose, our dignity, self-acceptance, self-respect, and self-worth are there for the taking.

As an example, in business, true leaders do not stand solely for profit. The original reason for corporations was to serve a public purpose and so, benefit society without the direct participation of government. If capitalism embraced an unwavering commitment to transparency and holding itself accountable for serving, not exploiting people, the environment, or the system in the name of profits, then we wouldn’t need the levels of regulation, organized labor or social support that currently exist. The “free market” isn’t “free” when it takes advantage of another. And we all are paying a huge price. By focusing on profits and not serving the greater good, corporations have caused and continue to generate the very things that they fight. Time and again, we have proven to ourselves that businesses that focus on purpose, people and the greater good generate significantly greater profits. These are companies we all admire. How much evidence do we need?

Acquiring wealth or profits are not “wrong” or “bad” as long as no one is exploited and well-being and financial security are generated for all. There is something “wrong” when six business owners are each worth $1B and make $450M per year yet the majority of their workers are without health insurance and cost taxpayers $1.5B per year because employees are paid too little to afford basic needs.

As another example, in government, true leaders do not stand for policy or ideology, which are nothing more than ideas and opinions. Our current political discourse is nothing more than showmanship, taking things out of context and spun, to prove we are “right” even when we blatantly misrepresent the facts. So, members of Congress who signed a “no new tax” pledge, by and large have failed us as leaders. The same goes for those who obstruct forward movement of anyone and anything that does not agree with their policy positions, instead of joining with and inviting others into a conversation about what is best for all of us with harm to none.

Obstruction is not leading. Some may call it arrogance, others may call it ignorance. We do know members of Congress are not leading, so it is no wonder 80% of us disapprove of how they are doing their job. We think we are represented. Look again. The only groups that are really represented are businesses, corporations and organizations who pay the lobbyists. This is what the original Tea Party was about: No taxation without representation. Who proposed and voted for the financial bailouts which maintain the status quo at our expense? Perhaps businesses and corporations should pay all the taxes.

If we, and the powers that be, cared about everyone we wouldn’t see taxes as a burden to be avoided. Rather, looking at the big picture, we would choose what makes sense for the government to take on and see that taxes are one way that we contribute to our collective well-being and fulfillment, and we ensure that they are fair, based on an ability to pay for both individuals and businesses. Paying taxes can feel as “good” as contributing to a cause we believe in, when we believe in the importance of our own dignity and well-being and the dignity and well-being of those around us. In fact, recent polls show that we are willing to pay higher taxes for our dignity and well-being.

All countries need to practice financial responsibility. There is enough wealth in this country to do so without causing or increasing hardships for some. Cutting taxes while initiating and maintaining expensive wars is irresponsible. Continuing tax cuts for the wealthy while undermining the well-being of others is corrupt.

Similarly, political platforms and religious dogmas are belief systems of our own creation that lay out the rules of the game if we want to “belong.” In large part, they seem to be exclusionary, self-serving, judgmental, and seek to impose social controls. They don’t bring people together on a common ground; they separate. This is not leading. When we dictate how others should live their lives in any way, it is arrogance. At 116, the world’s oldest woman, Besse Cooper, credits her long life with “minding her own business.” Lesson learned.

All the while, we espouse religious values. There is no scripture in this world that condones exploitation which is nothing more than stealing from and enslaving others. Our hypocrisy is rampant, saying one thing and doing another. And, leading is a sacred trust.

Ideologies are stories we tell ourselves about how life should be, generally based on self-serving self-interest and maintaining control. Then, we distort facts to make them fit our story lines. We all do it. We actually believe our own stories are true and real. There is a word for this from the Lewis Carroll children’s poem: Jabberwocky. The “jabberwock” is an imaginary, nonsense monster, a story. We have a shared story, we created it. Our story has been a sham, like the Wizard of Oz, to maintain wealth and power in the hands of a few. It’s time to pull back the curtain and expose our own power. It’s time to come home to ourselves and write a new story.

There is nothing inherently “bad” about political, business or religious ideologies. They are incomplete perspectives that limit possible solutions. Take a look around. It’s pretty evident that any polarized viewpoint taken to an extreme is destructive to society. Compromise is ineffective in the long-term; it sets up endless cycles of competition, for winning and losing, divisiveness and domination. What is needed is balance and integration in our solutions so that they encompass all perspectives, including opposing viewpoints. Establishing common ground and serving the greater good is the purpose of leading and the foundation that brings us together in collaboration and cooperation.

Over this Labor Day weekend, we were at a clam bake. After we ate, 2-and-a-half-year old Katelyn, belted out her favorite songs – some pretty good renditions of the Star Spangled Banner and It’s a Grand Old Flag and ended her performance by reciting Jabberwocky. This is The Dream of our children. The Dream we all share is not about material wealth, power or fame as some would have us believe. The Dream is to for life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, to be fully human. We can rebuild The Dream that offers everyone the opportunity to experience and fulfill their greatest potential – ultimate self-awareness – giving deeper meaning to what “USA” stands for. We can go on as we have, or we can choose to redefine what is important in our relationships with one another and with life. Katelyn’s message to all of us: If we stay caught up in and submissive to the jabberwocky, we are neither free nor brave. Our commitment to lead our lives ensures freedom for all.

We are in this together. The only sustainable way forward is full collaboration and cooperation based in our shared humanity. Our collective well-being has no room for self-serving self-interest, with winners and losers and exploitation of anything. This means we consider the whole, and take action for the greater good, for both individuals and the collective, in every facet of life: business, government, education and religion.

In 1988, Piper Alpha was an oil platform that exploded and burned in the North Sea, killing 167 and injuring 61. One of the survivors, Andy Mochan, jumped nearly 200 feet into a frigid sea covered with burning oil. He said it was either “jump or fry”, certain death over probable death. Andy chose life. A colleague, Daryl Conner, witnessing this on a newscast at the time, coined the term, “burning platform” to describe “the intensity of leadership commitment and resolve” that is required for change. This means having the tenacity of a pit-bull to lead our lives. We have the capacity to figure our way out of this “mess” we have created if we burn all of our platforms, our jabberwocky, take a leap of faith, and come together in collaboration and cooperation instead of in mindless competition like Roman gladiators fighting to the death.

Interestingly, the first .com company was registered in 1985 and the late 1980’s saw the start of our political divisiveness. The irony is that the Internet and other technology, while increasing our ability to connect exponentially, has also provided an outlet for us to broadcast our ideologies, driving us further apart. So we have lost sight of what really matters: Our interpersonal, human relationships and our collective well-being.

Our nature is to want to come together and contribute. Leaders help to channel this desire and energy for our collective well-being. Leaders act from our inherent connection, our interdependence, knowing that in harming one, all are harmed. Leaders earn the right to be trusted, the right to lead, when they care about the well-being of every single person.

Leaders lead through their clear commitment to our value as human beings, consistency of thought, feelings, words and actions with this commitment – this is true integrity – and inviting others’ commitment through free choice, not coercion or force. Yes, there will continue to be executives, politicians, educators and religious people who aren’t leaders. And, some individuals and organizations will misrepresent facts – lie – to attain or maintain their power over us, counting on our indifference or ignorance. They are out of integrity with and don’t stand for what matters most: We are human beings. We can simply stop listening to and following them, stop playing their game by their rules, and giving them power over our lives. We can also stop being angry at people in leadership positions for not “fixing” things for us. This is playing victim. Leadership – leading others – cannot be faked. One is either in integrity or one is not.

Western society values “winning” above all and getting more than we give, doing something because we will get something. So, while it may be difficult to admit to ourselves, we helped to create this. When we fully accept without judgment, blame or shame that we contributed to our current state by our own complicity, self-serving self-interest, or apathy, we can move forward and choose to lead our own lives and stand for one another as human beings. Everyone needs to admit culpability: politicians, corporate executives, business owners, educators, religious people, the media and us. There are no “saviors” except all of us. We are the creators of the world we experience. We are the ones we have been waiting for. No one will care about us until we care about ourselves, our freedom and sovereignty to lead our lives.

Leading our lives means taking positive, life-affirming action. Leading our lives means paying attention and being informed. Leading our lives means breaking free from our conditioning that it’s OK to take advantage, to “beat the system”, to “get away with” something, essentially, to get without giving. Leading our lives means making conscious choices for the world we want to experience for ourselves and everyone else, not blindly following ideological conditioning. Leading our lives means reclaiming our power by not voting for politicians or buying from companies that see nothing wrong with taking advantage and using others for seemingly unending personal gain. Exploitation is a house of cards that has taken too much and it’s about to collapse.

Establishing common ground and serving the greater good through care, understanding, respect and responsiveness is love. Who can we trust to lead? Ourselves, as we take steps to lead our lives from love, which acknowledges our interdependence with others for creating our lives. This is leading as love. When we live this way we can harm no one. Love is the level of commitment and resolve required of a burning platform. The only other choice is fear. If it harms or makes anyone suffer, it is based in fear, and we are caught in the jabberwocky. Choose again, for love. Once we understand what it means to be a leader, our choices and actions become crystal clear and we trust ourselves to make the “right” choices. We are at this crucial cross-road and the choice is ours which way to go. Which way will we choose for ourselves, the next seven generations and beyond?

Some will be disappointed that we didn’t “name names” of who can or can’t be trusted to lead. We don’t need anyone else’s opinion. We sense when someone is out of integrity with our humanity and we don’t like them. Look inside and we know who can be trusted: who truly cares about, understands, respects and responds equally to every person as a human being. We also know who acts in self-serving self-interest. If we can’t find what we are looking for, look in the mirror. Who am I as a human being? This is what we will see in others. And, no one can lead others until they lead their own lives free of the jabberwocky.

Don’t wait for the “other guys” to take this up. Without reclaiming our freedom to lead our lives, we are as oppressed and controlled as those living in and fighting dictatorships, although more subtly. We can make the choice right here, right now. Step back and watch the dominoes fall.

Who am I to say all this? Personal experience. I’ve made it my life’s work to learn about leading. I’ve observed so-called leaders. I’ve worked with so-called leaders. I strived to help businesses earn money the “right” way. At times, I felt powerless, dismissed and disregarded, my contributions not welcome. I am not alone. I am sure that others feel the same way. We shut down, hide what we have to offer, and tell ourselves it doesn’t matter. It matters greatly. It is the difference between truly living, leading our lives, and being the walking dead.

I was briefly part of the 1%, earning $200K year. I have been part of the 99%, losing my job at least 6 times. I have depleted my own financial resources and accepted some from family members, all for something that, until now, I didn’t know what “it” was. Serving the greater good kept me going. I’ve experienced just about everything that is good, bad and ugly that life has to offer. I have learned to pay attention to what’s behind the curtain and make informed choices. I’m on the same burning platform that we all are on and have chosen to take an empty-handed leap off the edge into freedom from my own fears and into the unknown. I have learned what it means to be a leader. I’ve learned to lead my life . You are just like me.

We won’t create well-being by debating ideologies. This is the jabberwocky. We create well-being by reaching for and living a higher truth: Power to the people, we the people, as we lead our lives. Common ground. Greater good. Care. Understanding. Respect. Responsiveness. Leading as love. Love makes a leader a leader. This is the only pledge that matters.

However we choose, we either stay locked into the past or create the future. It’s time to raise our own awareness, refocus the conversation, and initiate action in what really matters in our current social context: Leadership. Shifting the social context is an ultimate “change intervention”; it generates ever expanding change.

Who Can We Trust to Lead? is like a rose petal in the desert wind. Not sure where it will go. Not sure where it will land. Not sure who it will reach. I trust it will serve its purpose. Thank you for your time, attention and consideration for what this means in your own life and the lives of those you love.

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Love makes a leader a Leader.